Thoughts on the Deshaun Watson Accusations

TW: Mention of sexual assault

Dear Clemson community,

As with many of you, my heart pumps orange and purple blood through my body. I play “Tiger Rag” and our Alma Mater when I feel disconnected from this beautiful campus. Hell, I even play those songs when I play NCAA Football on my Xbox to get a crucial stop on 4th down. I moved to Anderson, SC about nine years ago, and from the moment I stepped foot on this state, my life was bombarded with unconditional love toward Clemson Football. I witnessed the excruciating victory against unranked Troy before we won the national championship for the first time in over 30 years. I continuously wished for money to appear in my bank account to buy two Deshaun Watson jerseys: one for me, and one for my dad. I cried when Deshaun Watson threw that pass to Hunter Renfrow; it was one of the happiest moments I had had in a long time. I applauded Deshaun for sticking up for himself when he announced that he did not want to stay in Houston; I thought “finally, individuals in the NFL are starting to push the agenda in the right direction.” I say this to show you how Deshaun Watson and Clemson Football have been an integral part in my decision to call Clemson my home and the special place they both have in my heart.

On March 16, 2021, I received a notification from my ESPN app, and I never thought that one digital bubble could send my mind into such a morose sense of confusion, disappointment, and pain. My mind collected a bank of phrases that tried to wash away all these feelings. “No way,” “Not him,” “It can’t be him,” “He’s supposed to be one of the good ones.'' I repeated these phrases several times in an attempt to wake myself from this nightmare. How can someone that I idolized, looked up to, even revered, do something so heinous? My heart split into two equally powerful pieces: one that wanted to hold on to the idealized, heroic version of Deshaun that I crafted so many years ago, and one that could not condone this type of behavior by any person. How much of his reputation could I, or should I, salvage? What does this say about me?

As the allegations skyrocketed from one to twenty-two, it became increasingly more difficult to sympathize with Deshaun. This is not the first time a high-profile celebrity has been accused of sexual harassment. The #MeToo movement caused a seismic uproar in celebrity circles as more people were identified as predators who abuse their power and wealth. Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, Brett Ratner, Louis C.K., Kevin Spacey, and now Deshaun Watson? It hurt me to put him among the rest, so my first instinct was to protect him from the list. However, by doing so, a new thought popped into my head, and I couldn’t shake it off. Something that all of these cases have in common is that we know them, talk about them, and remember them by the name of the predator, but how many of us can remember the names of the women assaulted? Everything surrounding these cases is seen through the lens of compassion for the male predator, but why? Why do we continually give passes to men in positions of power that hurt women?

This revelation scared me a lot. I read each of the allegations against Deshaun, and it broke my heart. It was a consistent pattern of behavior, where Deshaun used his status as a rising superstar in the National Football League to coerce women into different variations of sexual harassment. I was emotionally numb once I read the tenth allegation, but I made myself read the other eleven.

But why was I scared? This is the question that kept haunting me. Finally, I arrived at the answer. Although I would never want to hurt women, I was afraid that I subconsciously perpetuated misogynistic tropes throughout my life that may have aided predators along the way. Growing up in the patriarchal system that we live in, it is easier to justify the predator than to stand up for the survivor. It’s commonplace to give the male celebrity a platform to defend himself, but we only hear from the survivors through their lawyers or at the end of trial in their impact statements, if they even get a trial. It dawned on me that the entire legal process is nothing more than a legal façade to give the predator infinitely many chances to get away with it. Have you ever wondered why it was so normal for the public to drag Christine Blasey Ford’s name and reputation through the mud, but Brett Kavanaugh got a slap on the wrist and still landed his dream job? Have you ever wondered why Brock Turner got six months for sexually assaulting an unconscious Chanel Miller outside of a frat party? It is because, as a society, we have turned our backs on survivors. We have left them out to dry, to fight a steep, uphill battle for us to believe them. Enough is enough.

It’s ridiculous to think that survivors who wait a long time before coming forward about their assault are likely to be accused of a false allegation. It’s ridiculous to think that people would fabricate stories and put themselves through all of the emotional trauma of not being believed just for wealth and notoriety. I repeat a previous question and raise a new one: Can you remember any of the names of those that accused Bill Cosby? If they did it for money and fame, where are they now? It’s imperative that we shift the focus to survivors. We need to listen to them because they are telling the truth. There is real pain and suffering that comes from these cases. There is real fear to speak out against men in powerful positions, and men in general. There is a real fear that a friend or family member claiming to back Deshaun, instead of believing the survivors, is alienating survivors in their life, making them feel as though reporting is not an option for them. If you want to know why so few women report, look at all of the shameful and delegitimizing rhetoric used against those who do step forward. There is a real danger that, by not listening to survivors, we encourage predators behavior. Sexual assault awareness is not a woman’s issue, it’s a human issue. Yes, it’s a guy’s issue as well. 1 in 6 American women and 1 in 10 American men are sexually assaulted, and most of the predators are men. By using their status and wealth, men in positions of power can threaten and coerce women and men to do what they want. If we can make meaningful change in our communities, why aren’t we? So many survivors have yelled their truths only to fall on deaf ears. We owe it to them to do better, and we can.

If you are, or know someone who is a survivor, I want to say that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There are people here that care about you and love you, and we want to help you be heard and believed. There are organizations on this campus, and outside of campus as well, that believe you. If you need to, contact Clemson’s new Interpersonal Violence Response Coordinator, Lauren Parker, at lmatran@clemson.edu. Follow It’s On Us on instagram @itsonuscu and visit our website for more resources and contacts at https://itsonuscu.wixsite.com/clemson . Other on-campus organizations that care about you are Clemson Students for Survivors (@clemsonstudentsforsurvivors on instagram) and the Council of Diversity Affairs (@cusgcoda on instagram). Off-campus, Pickens County Advocacy Center believes you. Contact them at anita.warwick@pcadvocacy.org.

We love you, we believe you, and we won’t stop fighting for you,

Edgar Saldivar Uribe

It’s On Us - External Education Coordinator